As mentioned earlier, all the agreements we have in our heads are based on beliefs that we have consciously and unconsciously accepted. Together, they form our vision of the world. What others say, what they do, and the opinions they share match the agreements they have in their own minds, meaning that nothing others do or say is because of you – it`s because of them. If you break an agreement, start again tomorrow and the next day. It will be difficult at first, but every day will be easier and easier until the day you discover that you have mastered your life with the Four Accords. And you`ll be surprised at how much your life has changed. “We live in a fog that is not even real,” Ruiz continues. “This fog is a dream, your personal dream of life – what you believe, all the concepts you have about who you are, all the agreements you have made with others, with yourself and even with God. Your whole mind is a fog that the Toltecs called a mitote. In these agreements, you have told yourself who you are, how you feel, what you believe and how to behave. And in an effort to be accepted by everyone around you, you have created this image of what perfection is, based on the beliefs of others. In The Four Agreements, Don Miguel reveals the source of self-limiting agreements that deprive us of joy and cause unnecessary suffering. If we are prepared to amend these agreements, there are four agreements of deceptive but powerful simplicity that we can adopt as guiding principles.
Based on ancient Toltec wisdom, the Four Accords offer a powerful code of conduct that can quickly transform our lives into a new experience of freedom, true happiness, and love. Once you realize that what others are saying and doing is because of them, you will come up with two alternatives: you can either choose to take things personally and thus accept the transmission of another person`s emotional waste and make it your own, or you can choose not to take things personally, which immunizes you against the negative opinions and actions of others. and therefore will not make you a victim of unnecessary suffering. In part 2 of this 2-part video, we learn the book of the law that governs our mind and the inner judge that makes us suffer because we never live up to our “image of perfection.” All our normal tendencies are lost in the process of domestication, and we begin to look for what we have lost. We seek freedom because we are no longer free; we seek happiness because we are no longer happy; We seek beauty because we no longer believe that we are beautiful. What we are looking for is our “self”. With practice, the Four Accords help us regain our “authentic self,” and this is the greatest gift we can give ourselves. Find the courage to ask questions and express what you really want.
Communicate with others as clearly as possible to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama. With a single agreement, you can completely change your life. If you`ve done your best and your inner judge is trying to judge you, you have the answer, “I did my best.” There are no regrets. That`s why we always do our best. It is not easy to respect this agreement, but this agreement will really set you free. The Four Accords©, published in 1997 and sold about 9 million copies. It has been on the New York Times bestseller list for nearly a decade. Everything we do is based on agreements we have made – agreements with ourselves, with other people, with God, with life. But the most important agreements are those we make with ourselves. “The Four Chords” not only gave me the four chords with which I made small positive changes in my life, but the book also helped me understand the process of “domestication” and how that “domestication” shaped my belief systems. In The Four Agreements, Don Miguel Ruiz deconstructs the reality in which our society lives today and, through his words, he reveals the source of our self-limiting beliefs that deprive us of joy and self-love and cause unnecessary suffering in our daily lives. Essentially, he explains the phenomenon of why “people punish themselves endlessly for not being what they think they should be.” Things to keep in mind: This is good advice to help you become less responsive, defensive, and need retaliation, but keep it in balance.
Although everyone has their biases and there is no true objectivity, by never taking anything personally, you can really limit your ability to see your own negative patterns and biased thoughts and work to develop healthier patterns and lucid thinking. Like Mr. Scott Peck in The Road Less Traveled says, “Distinguishing the problem from who we are and what we are not responsible for in this life is one of the greatest problems in human existence.” What it entails: A lot of stress can be created if you assume you know what others are thinking without talking to them. Understanding that other people may have different motivations for their actions, even worldviews that are radically different from your own, and remembering to really try to understand others and discuss those motivations before jumping to conclusions about their behavior can go a long way in avoiding interpersonal conflict. According to Don Miguel Ruiz, everything we do is based on agreements we have made – agreements with ourselves, with other people, with God, with life. But the most important agreements are those we make with ourselves. In these agreements, we tell ourselves who we are, how to behave, what is possible, what is impossible. A single agreement is not such a problem, but we have many agreements that come from fear, deplete our energy and reduce our self-esteem. And that`s exactly what happened. I hope this structure will inspire you to take this book, learn a new thing or two, and broaden your perspective.
It`s about speaking with integrity. It`s about using words that build your confidence, but not using words to belittle others or talk negatively about yourself. It`s just a matter of saying what you want to say and using your words to focus your attention on what you want most (what you really like) rather than what you don`t do (what you fear or hate). Although the chords are sometimes oversimplified, this is still a great little book with heavy ideas. Focusing on one of these agreements can significantly improve your life and reduce stress. Focusing on all four can really change many people`s lives. If these suggestions are followed in a general and non-fanatical way, they can help you relieve a large amount of stress by helping you avoid thought and behavior patterns that create frustration, blame, hurt feelings, and other negative emotions. If you do your best, you can expect the following: The fourth chord allows readers to get a better insight into achieving their life goals. This agreement includes the integration of the first three agreements into everyday life and also the exploitation of their full potential.  It is a question of doing one`s best individually, which is different from the different situations and circumstances that the individual may encounter.
Ruiz believes that if you avoid self-judgment and do your best at every moment, you can avoid remorse.  By incorporating the first three chords and doing their best in all facets of life, people will be able to live a life without grief and self-loathing.  For this final agreement, Don Miguel Ruiz tells the story of a man who wanted to overcome his suffering, so the man went to a Buddhist temple. Ruiz explains that while this agreement is the most important, it is the most difficult to keep.  For this agreement, Ruiz first analyzes the word “impeccable.” The word impeccable comes from the Latin word peccatus and means “sin”,” and the “im” at the beginning of impeccable is the Latin prefix meaning “without”. Ruiz describes a sin as anything that goes against oneself, and therefore dealing impeccably with language means taking responsibility for one`s actions, and remaining without judgment against oneself and others.  Essentially, this agreement emphasizes the importance of speaking with integrity and carefully choosing words before they are spoken aloud.  Our truest self. The truest self buried deep under the rubble of broken beliefs. The truest self hidden behind the façade of the illusory perfection of what society expects of you. In part 1 of this 2-part video, we learn about the “domestication” of man and how all the rules and values of our family and society are imposed on us by a system of punishment and reward. As young children, our true nature is to love and be happy, to explore and enjoy life; We are absolutely authentic.
But then we learn to be what others think we “should” be, and because it`s not acceptable for us to be who we are, we start pretending to be what we aren`t. When we are teenagers, we have learned to judge ourselves, to punish ourselves and to reward ourselves according to agreements we have never chosen. The Four Accords help us break self-limiting agreements and replace them with agreements that bring us freedom, happiness and love. It is very interesting to see how the human mind works. Our brains are designed to keep us safe – which is why we don`t fare well in uncertainty. This is also the reason why we feel the need to justify everything. It helps us explain and understand what is happening around us and, in doing so, feel safe. As Ruiz explains, “Self-abuse comes from self-rejection, and self-rejection comes from having an image of what it means to be perfect and never measuring oneself against that ideal. Our image of perfection is the reason why we reject ourselves; That is why we do not accept ourselves as we are, and why we do not accept others as they are. This is because as children we did not have the opportunity to choose our beliefs, we simply accepted the information that was passed on to us by our families, our schools and our societies. .